I was having a conversation with a coaching client the other day, she was talking about how she is really excited because she is going through and organizing all the disorganized areas of her home.
I remembered having a similar conversation with her a few years back when she lived in a different home, and the similarities made me wonder if there was a pattern we should look at together, so I asked her if she remembered us having a very similar conversation a few years ago.
She did remember and said, "oh yeah, I've had this focus for years - to go through all my stuff and get it organized and taken care of."
I said, "That's interesting that you feel like it has always been your thing, let me ask you this, does it seem like there is always more stuff to go through?"
She said, "YES! And I can't figure out when I'm going to finally be done, but I can't wait."
I said, "Why? What's going to happen when you are finally done?"
And she said, "I'll be happy."
I said, "When you're happy, you'll be happy."
There was silence over the phone line and then she quietly said, "huh?"
I said, "You won't be happy, until you are happy. It isn't about when you finally go through all your stuff - because there will always be more stuff. Being happy happens when you be happy."
More silence - and then she said, "Whoa - wow - that just hit me like a ton of bricks."
Let me explain further...
So many people think they will be happy when something specific happens - and they want to be happy (because happiness is the actual feeling we all desire) - so they put all of there energy on that something happening and little to no energy on being happy.
The opportunity for happiness is NOW, not tomorrow - not when this thing or that thing happens - but now. You won't be happy, until you are happy. And that's okay - in fact it's great news, because you can be happy in any moment - you have that power.
So what does this mean to you? Well, it means you get to free yourself from the pressure you have assigned to whatever thing you have assigned happiness to, and you just get to be happy.
Does that mean my client shouldn't organize her stuff anymore - NO, that's not what I'm saying at all - but, she can focus on being happy first. AND when she does organize her stuff, she can remove all the pressure that she had put on it, so that she is simply organizing her stuff and creating a harmonious environment. Do you see the difference? More importantly, do you FEEL the difference?
I want to help you with this, so let's do an exercise right now to help you stop chasing happy and instead start BEING happy.
I want you to do is write down the thing or things that you have assigned happiness to. Some common things I hear are:
• When my huge list of 'things I have to do' is finally done
• When I finally have 1 million dollars
• When I finally finish organizing my life
• When I finally lose 20 pounds
• When I finally get my dream job
• When I finally finish writing my book
• When I finally find my soul mate
You get the idea. And if you are having any trouble figuring out what it is for you, try filling in the blanks on this question...
When I FINALLY _________________ I will be happy!
Now, I suggest you see how many times you can fill in that blank, because that will reveal how many outcomes you have assigned happiness to.
This is so important for a couple of reasons...
1. When you assign happiness to one or more outcomes, you are chasing something that will never resolve and here's why, when you are chasing happiness, instead of being happy first, you will just shift the outcome. What I mean by that is this...
• There will always be more things to put on your list of things to do.
• When you have a million dollars you will want 2 million.
• There will always be more organizing you can do, etc.
Let me explain why. It is our nature to want to continue to grow, so we naturally want to raise ourselves to new levels and achieve new outcomes. As I said, that's natural and you can embrace that, BUT when you have assigned happiness to a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up to chase for your whole life.
2. The other reason this is so important is because it puts WAY TOO MUCH pressure on the things you desire which can often delay those things unnecessarily. Think about the difference for my client between organizing to achieve happiness and organizing to create a beautiful, harmonious home. Which of those outcomes do you think is more likely to occur? The 2nd one, of course, because it doesn't carry with it the pressure of 'making her happy' - because she can already choose happy.
Do this exercise today, find out which outcomes you have attached happiness to, and take the pressure off. Be happy now - you can choose it, 1 moment at a time. And one of the best ways to do that is to ask yourself this question...
What can I be happy about right now?
Once you answer that question, let that happiness fill you up and radiate out from you. I promise you, there is ALWAYS something you can be happy about - in every single moment - it is up to you to choose to focus on it and feel it. Once you do, once you feel happy filling you and radiating out from you, you can do anything you want - you can organize, or go to the gym, or work on your business, or give attention to your relationship - and the most amazing thing will happen, because you have removed the pressure of happy, and because you are already happy, you will automatically notice an ease and flow and harmony that may not have been there before.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kristen_Howe
